#13 …when “I’s” are replaced with “We's”.

I was organizing my cousin’s birthday party. First on my invitee list was Sonam, another one of my cousins who had recently got engaged.

“Hey Congratulations!” I said after she received my call.

“Thanks di. How are you?”

“I am good. You tell me how is your Mr. Raman?”

“He is good too.” She said a little sheepishly.

“In Bangalore?” I asked.

“Yes. Planning to come for the weekend though.”

“Hmm. He is too busy to let me know of his plans. I am sure once you shift from here, you’ll forget me too,” I said complaining.

“Ofcourse not. We’ll never forget you Di.”

I noticed she was using WE.

“Let’s hope so. Anyways you have to come on 3rd for Ishu’s Birthday celebrations. I’ll talk to Raman too.”

“We’ll definitely come Di, no reminders required.”

Again WE.

“Good. Are you done with your engagement shopping?”

“Not yet. We are running short of time. Lets see how we manage.”

WE's.

“Ok. Do let me know if I can be of any help.”

“We’ll definitely let you know Di.”

WE.

“Tell me something, have you forgotten the use of “I”. Or do you still sometimes use it?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“I am sorry Di. The other day even my friend had told me so,” She replied with an embarrassing smile.

“Hey nothing to feel embarrass about. You should be happy you are already in Love with him.” With that we exchanged good byes.

As I disconnected, I felt nostalgic about my own courtship days. How everything revolved around him! It is not uncommon for individuals to lose their sense of identity while in a relationship. It happens to all of us, in varying degrees.

Though I must say I took a while longer than that.”

#12 ...when your guy finds your company more imp than India-Pak Match.

Today I am updating a love sign as expressed by Vivek Oberoi, on twitter -


If today (considering the vital tryst between India and Pakistan in Mohali), your guy spends the entire day with you, instead of watching the match… its true love.

#11 …when you accept his/her faults gracefully.

It was past midnight and I was under one of my frequent spells of insomnia. Suddenly some oozing noise diverted my attention from the novel I was trying to concentrate on. At first I thought it was coming from outside the window, for many-a-times I have heard such sounds on a silent night. But apparently it was not. I couldn’t help giggling on realizing it was Deepak snoring.

Oooo, he looked so sweet when snoring!! After a minute of affectionate gaze, my mind wandered to a thoughtful state. I asked myself - how many of his flaws I was ready to accept so gracefully. Almost all. And why?
Because he’s the love of my life.

No matter how fat he gets, no matter how many times he forget my birthdays; no matter what he says about my artistic collection, no matter how dirty he keeps his wardrobe, I’ll still stay and love him. He may not be perfect, but he’s all mine. Ultimately, I closed my book, adjusted a headphone on my ears to keep off the lullaby and tried sleeping.

 "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind" --William Shakespeare Mid-Summer's Night Dream.

#10 …when you feel inspired to be a better person for yourself and for her/him.

I was waiting for a friend in Forum Mall beside the escalator on the ground floor when someone caught my attention. I felt I had known him once but couldn’t recollect instantly. The guy seemed to have noticed my stare, for he looked back at me and smiled. I smiled back, still unsure of his identity. He then walked upto me to say ‘hi’. Like a flash it dawned upon me. Saabir! He was a student too at my designing class. We were talking randomly when suddenly a guy jostled in and I collided with the railing of the escalator. The guy simply moved away while Saabir helped me back on my feet. I don’t know whether the shove was intentional or unintentional but I definitely know one thing - Saabir had changed. I recollected a similar instance from my designing days and his reaction. Saabir had a violent streak then which Neha simply abhorred. Ah! Neha was the love interest of Saabir.


“Hey what about Neha? Where is she?” I asked genuinely interested to know if they were together.

“She is good, married and settled,” he stated. “Not with me though,” he added with a smile.

“Why? What happened? I can see the change in you and I know the reason. Then why isn’t she with you?” I asked noticing huge differences in the Saabir I had known once and the Saabir standing in front of me then.

“Things were going on smoothly for sometime. But then Destiny played its role. You tell me how you are doing?” he asked trying to change the topic.

I couldn’t help feeling sad for him. We eventually exchanged goodbyes and moved on. He reminded me of the character played by Salman khan in “Tere naam”. Only love can have that effect on you!!

#9 ...when you believe in someone without the need for justifications.

I had retired to bed early tonite. Not feeling much sleepy I picked up a novel from my side table and started reading from the book marked page -

“Hey Seema, what were you doing with Mahip yesterday at Park Plaza?” Rohit asked, obstructing her way into the class.
“Why should I answer you that?” Seema asked surprised at the sudden punch.
“I thought you were interested in Rahul!” exclaimed Rohit.
“That’s a matter between Rahul and me. Your friendship with him doesn’t allow you to interfere in his relationship with me.”
“Hey Guys, is anything the matter?” asked Rahul on entering the class, unaware of what had been exchanged between Rohit and Seema.
“Your friend saw me with Mahip yesterday and is demanding an explanation,” said Seema, a little pissed off.
“Rohit you shouldn’t have done that,” Rahul said moving to Seema and trying to give her a consoling pat on her shoulders.
“But Rahul, she knows very well that you don’t like Mahip at all,” complained Rohit, astonished at Rahul’s stand.
“Being my friend you should know very well that I trust her enough to doubt her intentions. C’mon now. Shake hands.” Rahul said, trying to make things amenable once again.
On seeing the teacher they moved to take their respective seats.
“Seema, Rahul really loves you a lot. Its time you two formally declared your love for each other,” said Ragini with a giggle, taking her place beside Seema.
“Shut up or the professor will throw you out of the class.”
                                                    
Something set me thinking. I placed the bookmark once again and turned to Deepak who seemed deeply engrossed in his laptop.

"Deepak, do you always trust people with or without their justifications?" I asked.

"Not always," he replied without looking at me.

"Does the same apply to me?" I further asked.

This time he turned to me and said, "No, its not the same with you. I trust you always. Have I ever asked you to justify yourself?"

I knew the answer. I switched on the laptop and signed in to my blog.

#8 ...when thinking of someone faraway bring tears to your eyes.

Post dinner Rashi and I decided to take a walk in the compound of our apartment. The weather seemed to have lured others as well for we weren’t the only ones there. Quiet a no. of couples could be seen jaywalking. The mood was calm and the environment serene. Not to break the theme, we started ambling silently. We were enjoying the cool breeze and the dark shadows playing at the flickers of light now and then.

“It reminds me of our old days,” Rashi said, breaking the silence.

“The same thought had crossed my mind,” I said reminiscing how in our college days we would stroll for hours after dinner talking endlessly about every unimportant thing under the sun.

“Do you remember how… ,” I stopped short on seeing drops of tears falling from the corners of her eye.

She tried her best to turn her face and wipe it out before I could notice it, but she failed. I knew it was Saahil, who had crept to her mind. It wasn’t her fault. Saahil had been the very reason we would spend hours walking and talking without getting bored. He was also the reason we had stopped our evening walks long back.

“You Love him still,” I commented after a minute of pause.

She was still silent, probably busy trying hard not to allow his thoughts enter her mind and play havoc.

Though she continued to remain quiet for a while and changed the topic later on, it was evident she hadn’t forgotten him. His thoughts could still make her cry.

#7 ...when you sit glued to the TV watching Cricket & praying for INDIA's Victory.

Cricket has always been revered in India; World Cup is its culmination. Its never just another match when India is playing, it’s a Historic event everytime. As I left my office yesterday, I could hear nothing but Match Scores being transmitted from one department to another with the added expressions of joy or of dismay. On roads, it was the same. At each junction, a small cluster of the pavement dwellers or of vendors, around some retail establishment with a TV set and a transparent window glass, couldn’t be ignored. Needless to mention all channels were tuned to watch the quarter finals between India and Australia. It didn’t come to me as a surprise when I found my dear Hubby and my FIL already home though the sun was yet to set. I didn’t even need to view the TV myself to know if Indians had scored runs or just got out. Every ball was watched, every decision was commented upon. Deepak couldn’t have sunk deeper when wickets were falling in quick succession nor jumped higher when Raina scored six at Bret lee’s delivery, giving the game its much required turn. And it was the same in every household. Some are seen observing fast for India’s victory while others go to the extent of offering the Almighty bribe in case it can help India sail through. My sister was superstitious enough not to get up in between the match, for once when she had got up, Sachin was declared out. The firecrackers bursting or the distribution of sweets on our Victory speaks nonetheless. What can this intensity, this sheer pride, this oneness be called, if not pure, selfless love? Universal Love for your Nation. Yes its love and I feel proud to state that we all are deeply in love with our nation.

#6 …when after a fight you usually make up within a few hours.

For long, Public buses have been looked down upon. But they have their own advantages. For one, they give you full time entertainment if you are in mood to take it. To me, it gave a food for thought. Last evening my first apprehension, on boarding the bus, was not about the seat or the crowd, but how to spend the half an hour I had to travel in it. I pray God to take care of my every apprehension the way he did yesterday. Luckily I got a good seat and the bus was pretty empty. As an icing on the cake, there was a girl sitting beside me chatting with her boyfriend on her mobile.

How do I know if he was his Boyfriend?

You would know soon…

It was difficult not to pay heed to her conversation being in such close proximity. Here’s what I remember of it -

Girl: You spoilt my 4 hrs.

A small pause.

Girl: You know I couldn’t even concentrate on my assignment. I kept goofing up.

A longer pause.

Girl: Don’t repeat it next time. When you fight with me, my whole world starts revolving round it. I keep wondering where I went wrong. I even keep checking my mobile every minute for your messages, if any.

The guy might have tried to put his stand but the girl interrupts.

Girl: Don’t give me such lame excuses. You know I know you well enough to accept those.

This time, an even longer pause.

Girl (finally): I agree. Nothing is more important than both of us expressing our true feelings, even if they cause conflict. But promise me we’ll patch up within a few hours each time. I can’t stay beyond that without speaking to you.

I exclaimed, “O My Lord! What a sweet thing to say.”

The girl turned around, looked at me smiling, realized I had been listening to her conversation throughout, felt a little sheepish, and disconnected after asking him to call up after a while.

My destination had arrived. I got down feeding my memory bank to remember the phrase when updating this love-sign. I couldn't help mumbling -

I wanna make up right now na na,
I wanna make up right now na na,
wish we never broke up right now na na,
we need to link up right now na na...

#5 …when you check compatibility through FLAMES, LoveMeter, etc.

I had gone to my Mom’s place yesterday for a casual meet. While I was chatting with her, my attention was suddenly diverted to my 16-yr old cousin sitting beside, completely absorbed in her course book. Firstly she was continuously scribbling something in the columns of the book she was reading and secondly her expressions were changing rather quickly. Both stuck me as odd. Quietly I moved beside her and peeped into her book. I couldn’t help smiling. She was trying out FLAMES.

I am sure everybody in their teens have at least once tested their relationship through FLAMES ( Friendship, Love, Admiration, Marriage, Enemity, S- I don’t remember). Love meter gives the same result in percentage form. You try all this fundas – be it through love meter, love calculator, FLAMES, etc – when you have a soft corner for the person you are checking on, and wanna find out what your relationship will turn out to be according to these meters. Love had just started blooming in my Cousin’s heart too. Alas! The meter crushed it down by defining her relationship with her significant other as “Enemity.” I wonder how easy it would have been if one could really foresee the future of their relationship through such inventions!!

#4 …when you start thinking about your future together.

Daisy had called up after a very long time. She was a neighbor friend from my previous apartment. It felt good to just see her name flashing on my mobile. Friends have that effect on you! With extra eagerness, I received her call and said – “Hi, how have you been?”

“Good. You tell me how are you doing?” She sounded as excited.

“Am doing great, as always. Your college must be over now. What plans next?” I asked.

“Don’t know. Planning to appear for MBA entrance. Actually Ravi is doing the same. At least we’ll end up being in complementary fields and I’ll have two years in hand to ward off any marriage issue.”

“Well! I thought you were rather eager to get married and settle off.” I commented, surprised at her plans.

“I was. Not anymore. Ravi is planning to move to States after his masters. You know how much study matters in US,” she tried explaining.

“And India,” she added as an afterthought.

“What’s this Ravi thing all about? Last I knew you got acquainted to him because of some common friend falling in some trouble and you both trying to help her out.”

“That was way back. Now we are friends. I have just decided to be more serious in life, that’s all. Nothing else.”

She thought I was as silly as her own heart to believe that.

“Nothing else? You are in love with him baby or you wouldn’t have started thinking about your future together.” I stated.

“Nothing like that. I just want to keep my options open.” She said with a blush.

Either she genuinely couldn't read her own feelings or she was trying to hide it from me.
“Has he proposed to you?” I asked.

“Not yet. I mean no.”

“Hmmm.”

The more I spoke to her, the affirmative I was about her feelings for Ravi. I am sure she'll thank me soon for making her aware of this new found love. But for now, I thank her for giving me the love-sign for the day.

#3 ...when strolling couples hold hands together.

On my walk back home from office, I often see youngsters in pairs or in groups, roaming around aimlessly specially around a coaching centre which I cross. Some coming out, Some going in, Others waiting. So it wasn’t unusual today when I saw a pair - a gal and a guy - walking right in front of me. They had just come out of that coaching centre. Hardly a few seconds later, the guy took hold of the girl’s palm and they started walking hand in hand. A similar scene from Archies’ greeting cards appeared before my eyes. It’s a common theme for love or more-than-friendship cards. I didn’t need to make guesses. I had been waiting for a love-sign whole day and was glad to find it here. As I reached the crossroad, I saw they were about to part.
“Love you. Take care” were the guy’s parting words.

I found an article about why strolling couples hold hands, many a times almost unaware that they’re locked in palm-kiss. Let me share it with you-

1.) It can give feelings of comfort, protection and safety.
2.) It says “I love you” or at the very least “I like you” without words.
3.) Touch intensifies your feelings for one another.
4.) It says “you’re not alone”, “you’re accepted”, “you belong”.
5.) It fulfils the basic human need for touch, which makes us feel good.
6.) For some it’s a sign of ownership and domination.
7.) Social signals that you’re “taken.”
Last, but not the least -
8.) It sure beats gloves to warm your hands!!

#2 ...when you start putting someone else’s preference before your own.

It was Sunday. And India’s preliminary match v/s. West Indies in the World Cup series. A match viewing session was therefore organized at a friend’s place post lunch. Cricket watching isn’t much fun without friends. Or any other sport for that matter. As late afternoon arrived, everybody started feeling the rats crawling in their stomach. The female better-halfs knew it wouldn’t be late before the rats would create a havoc inside, so they immediately moved to the kitchen. Once inside, the most difficult question was put forward. What to prepare or to order?

Muskaan started, “Lets call for Pizza.”                

Rashi added, “We could even go for South Indian, Rohit loves it.”

Iti said, “I am on for either of it. Ashish and me are good with both. But Muskaan as far as I remember, you hated Italian food.”

“I still do. But Parag loves it.” Muskaan explained.

“ITS LOVE.” I almost shouted with joy. It was spontaneous and I was amazed to realize I had noticed it.

“What?” Everybody asked unanimously.

“Nothing,” I said then but couldn’t wait to tell Deepak about my discovery.

Once home, I hugged him tight and was jumping with joy. Obviously he couldn’t fathom the reason.

“Guess what?" Not waiting for him to answer, I added, "I noticed Love. Its love when you start putting someone else’s preference before your own."

Be the matter something as simple as food or as elaborate as a holiday destination, love makes you not only consider your loved one's preferance but put it before your own with a smile on your face. Only Love can break the monopoly rights of the demon of selfishness.

Once in my bed, I was happy, content and hopeful..

#1 ...when Life seems Colorful.

On breakfast, this morning, Deepak was going through an article in the newspaper when he suddenly commented, “These teens today, My, My!”
“Why? What happened now?” I asked curiously.
“Ok you tell me how do you know you are in love?” he asked, not bothering to answer my question.
No matter what I said, I knew I would not satisfy his quest. And I was in no mood of an argument on this festive day. So I quietly got up from the table, took out some colors from the nearby drawer and went up to him.
He was still completely absorbed in his newspaper.
“Because my Life Is So Colorful” I said hugging him from behind and putting the color on his face.
“Happy Holi” I added.
Later in the evening the question from the breakfast table set me thinking.
Do we actually get indications when we are in love?
Are there signs that tell us its love?
“Yes there are!” I think I said aloud, for Deepak turned from his PC and asked “What?”
I went up to him and said, “There are many signs that indicate love.”
“How many? 1? 2? 3?”
“More.”
“33?”
“More.”
“333?”
“And more.. Infact we see and feel it quite often, but choose to ignore it.”
Suddenly I had an idea. And here it is. Beginning today I’ll tell him about 1 sign each day. Since many of you out there might have the same question in mind, I’ll post it for you too. Who knows even you may come up with few of them. So, here's my debut-

#1. Its love when….Life seems Colorful.

For long, mankind has tried to reason out this fact. The field of color psychology specifically attempts to identify the effects of color on human emotion and activity. For e.g. Red is passionate love. Cupid's color represents joy, happiness, luck, and is a wedding color in some cultures. Pink is romantic love. Playful and sweet, pink is sugar and spice and everything nice. Purple is spirtual love. Lighter shades of purple and lavender are the most romantic while darker purples are mysterious, royal, and spiritual.
In his 1973 book “The Colors of Love”, John Lee also has compared styles of love to the color wheel.
Quoted below is a famous song denoting the various moods depicted by colors:

"Colors Of Love"

Blue is a color - that i'm seeing for the very first time
in the skies - in your eyes
Every time we're together and you put your little hand in mine

Blue is a feeling - that i'm never gonna have again
can't be blue - i've got you
and lady in you i've found a lover and a friend

Whenever i'm with you - color me happy
whenever we touch - color me hot
you color my world in

Colors of love - shades of emotion
at the end of the Rainbow
we found everlasting love and devotion

Red are the roses - that you're holding in your hand
when you need - tender lovin'
pretty lady you know i'm your man

Red is the color - of the passion that i feel for you
when it's hot - burnin' up
sexy lady you know i'm so in love with you

Whenever i'm with you - color me happy
whenever we touch - color me hot
you color my world in

Colors of love - shades of emotion
at the end of the Rainbow
we found everlasting love and devotion
colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love

It happens every time that i'm with you
black and white turns into color - you're not like any other
and when you touch me girl you know it's true
that i'm fallling so in love with you

Colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love

Girl all i see is you and me
happy together for eternity
little girl, i love you so much
colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love

Red as a passion, Blue as the sky's
so many feeling's when i look in your eyes
colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love
colors of love, colors of love....