My first feet into the household after that
social bonding carried no thoughts just mechanical action. For the past week I
had participated in hundreds of rituals supposed to make my married life happy
and prosperous. Not that I believed in all those. To me, it was just a way of
thanking God for entwining my life with Karthik’s. I smiled as I put my right
foot forward to lightly kick the rice pot placed at the threshold and then with
the same smile I walked on leaving my footprints on my new home’s floor.
Saturday, 27 August 2011
#165 …when someone leaves behind a vacuum.
Though I had asked him to stay away from me, to not to talk to me, yet I
didn’t know how I would ask his thoughts to stop flashing in front of my eyes.
I didn’t know how to erase his memories from my mind; how to barr them from
popping up every now and then like that spring jack in the box. I had no idea
how I will go on without the assurance of his back up. Every next second I
found my resolution wavering. I wanted to run into his arms, to talk to him
incessantly, to listen to him halfheartedly. I was ready to give up the rest of
my life for having my old life back, be it for a little time that no one can
steal for me. I know I would move on… but a vacuum would remain permanently in
my heart.
Friday, 26 August 2011
#164 …when he calls when he says he's going to call and shows up when he says he will.
Little did Mr Bell think that his invention or rather the manners of the users of his invention would one day be used to define love.
I was exasperated with friends not returning calls. And it was the same with family members. I started hating signals and networks. So when Madhur stood out of the league with his prompt replies, it was like sun shining through grey clouds.

#163 …when he loves another girl, you smile and say – I’m happy for you, but all you really do is cry.
Madhubala was very serious about marrying Dilip kumar, but he did not pay much of attention on her and chose someone else for marriage.When he married Saira Banu, Madhubala was sad but said, “He’s got
married to a pretty girl. She’s so devoted. I am very happy for him.”
Madhubala would cry a lot those days. She loved tempestuously and lost
tragically.
Thursday, 25 August 2011
#162 …when he gives you lots of attention and time.
It was his sister’s engagement. Though I didn’t want to go for I hardly knew
anybody there, I couldn’t decline his invitation too. Thank god, Prachi had
agreed to come. Grudgingly, I arrived at his place only to find Prachi wouldn’t
be coming. If I could, I would have ran back home. As I glanced at the sea of
faces, Dinesh came and tapped on my shoulder.
“Congratulations!” I said turning around.
“Thank you. I am glad you came. Come I’ll take you to my sister.”
On my way back home, I realized the evening hadn’t been as awkward as I had
thought it would be. Thanks to Dinesh who didn’t leave me alone for more than a
minute, I had enjoyed every bit of it.
Next day I called him up to ask him to come with me for shopping.
“I understand it’s a holiday and you might be busy, so don’t hesitate if you
have prior plans. I just thought a guy’s views will be better since I had to
buy for my bro,” I said.
“Hmm.” After a while he added, “I am totally free. Will be at your service
shortly.”
When Prachi called me in the evening to chat, she revealed Dinesh was
supposed to go her place to finish economics’ syllabus that day, but had
cancelled it at the last moment. When I told her of my shopping spree with him,
she was astonished.
“It was he who needed help in some topics and therefore had planned the
joint study session. And then he cancels it for some stupid shopping. I don’t
understand,” she said.
But I understood. Nobody would be ready to devote so much time and
attention, unless his heart was ruling his head.
#161 …when you worry about losing him.
Sitting with him cosily in the pleasant atmosphere,
under the awning of the locally
famous roadside tea stall,
1000 miles away from his hometown,
why was I still
worried that he might return
to the land of his fond memories
and never come
back
when he was repeatedly assuring me of his intention
to stay back and start
a new life here??
Somehow, this feeling is ever present in my heart.
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