#134 …when you have it, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

“Why are you so sad? Just move on. You don’t know how lucky you are. You have all that anybody would be dead jealous of – a loving home, a caring family, hefty bank balance, a charming personality, a bright future and sweet friends like me. What else do you seek?” I said, trying to make him understand the futility of crying over spilt milk.

He kept quiet. I nudged him. He smiled bleakly.

“Its funny the way I feel.” Another pause and then he continued, “You know what you just mentioned, all those things defined me at one time. But today, without Sakshi, they mean nothing to me. All these riches are a waste if they couldn’t bring her back.”

I knew what he said make sense but I also knew thinking that way would do no good to him. So I got up, tagged him along for some outing, some entertainment, that will divert his mind, atleast temporarily.

I sometimes wonder ...

if its better to have loved and lost 

and feel the way he was feeling 

or to never have loved at all 

and feel the way I am feeling!!

#133 …when your commitment to this person is absolute.

We met three guys in Spain. One among them, Shlok, was celebrating his last few bachelorhood days away from his hometown and the other two just joining him in his happiness. Whole night we kept chatting at the end of which the guys in our group and Shlok’s friends went out with some local girls. Even though we instigated Shlok to join them with his choice of girl, he preferred to stay back. “There’s no way your fiancée will ever find out about this night,” we told him. But he was simply not interested. He had fully and undeniably decided to be with only her, no matter what.

#132 …when tumse hi din hota hai..

When the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of before you go to bed is her, when you begin your day thinking what she is doing, how she looks, what you could do to make her smile today and the like, when you stare at her in class, at work, or whenever you meet, when you want to tell that person how you feel about her, when you want to be with her, to spend time with her, when you wonder what she is up to, when the thought of her just races through your mind all day and you just want her to always be happy, ITS LOVE!

                                                                 Har ghadi saans aati hai, zindagi kehlati hai…

                                                  Tum se hi, tum se hi…

#131 …when a particular name hits your mind every time you hear it.

 We were chatting by a roadside stall when someone behind me called out - “Vikram”. I turned around to see a girl approaching a guy 6 feet tall, fair complexioned and a little stout. He was not the Vikram I had turned to look at. There has been no inkling between this name and me for years but still it stirred something deep inside me. Everytime I heard the name called out, every time I read the name somewhere, memories would flash like torchlight. I sometimes wonder if he still occupies that special place in my heart like he once did. 

#130 …when living life without him just wouldn’t be the same.

“So, you’ll not get to see me from tomorrow.”

“Hmm. I know.”

“You’ll not even get to talk to me.”

I nodded.

“I hope we both move on comfortably.”

“Amen.”

 I knew I would easily move on without him,

but what I didn’t know was that 

life wouldn’t at all be the same without him. 

#129 …when you hear her voice through the wind and see her name on the clouds.

We were sitting on the porch of our one storied house when Firoz thought he heard her voice. The wind had started blowing strong by then and I asked him to come inside the house. He reluctantly joined me in. He kept quiet, perhaps still thinking about Divya. Divya, who used to be her best friend until she had Jay in her life. I never realized Firoz had special feelings for Divya, probably he himself never realized. But the way he had been hearing her voice through the wind and reading her name on the cloud left no doubts in my mind or in his heart about the truth.

#128 …when it hurts too much to let go.

Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment love begins, 

but we always recognize the moment it ends?

He would fly day after tomorrow, to a land far away from this city - where we first met, this city - which is a witness to our coming together, this city – which would always be a part of our indelible memory, this city – which will continue to nourish many such stories only to stub them later before they bloom. It didn’t come as a shock when he informed me of his decision yesterday for sooner or later this was to happen. What was shocking was my mood thereafter. The news hit harder than the punch of a boxer and shriller than the pinch of a needle. I had never held on to him…    
Then why was it hurting to let go?

#127 …it makes you smile even when you're damn tired!

Rachit had just entered home. Not even bothering to open his shoes, he went straight and fell on the couch in the living room like a lifeless object. He seemed in a foul mood today. Not to bear the brunt of it, we stayed away from his vision line. Just then Veer, his 1 year old son came crawling in the room. One look at him and Rachit was all melted. He got up, opened his shoes and picked his son up in his arms. It was disarming to see him smile and talk the way he did to his son considering his mood. 

#126 …when you realize he's as sexy as Govinda, as smart as Chandrachur, as funny as Junior Bachchan, as athletic as Devanand and nothing like Hrithik - but you'll take him anyway.

I was sitting in the coffee shop waiting for Aryan. As is human nature, my eyes and ears were tuning for something interesting when it caught the frequency of the nearby table. I could hear the typical cooing of lovers. Couldn’t help turning around. The guy was holding to the girl’s hand. What was striking was their appearance. The girl was extremely beautiful with brown shaded eyes, rosy lips, flowing hair, sexy figure and fair complexion. The guy, on the other hand, was sexy as Govinda, smart as Chandrachur, funny as Junior Bachchan, athletic as Devanand and nothing like Hrithik Roshan. I had heard opposite attracts, but this was the first time I have had the chance to view it. Thanks to them.  

#125 …when a man tries to be more amiable than it is possible for him to be.

Ram kapoor, a multi billionaire in his 30s, had all the traits of a big man – unmarried, arrogant, busy, spiteful, uncaring and definitely not friendly. He was popular for his high headed attitude and thus even gals who went for his riches sometimes returned hurt. Being a journalist I have had many opportunities to meet him in person. It was at his engagement party that I noticed this magic. Words were around that his engagement was another social obligation and I was thus expecting no signs of love between them. Mr. Kapoor was not only courteous enough to her but trying to be much more amiable than it was possible for him. There was definitely more than the ‘social obligation’ story that was not around yet.  

#124 …when there is fun in together, sad in apart, and joy in your heart.

I had never seen a girl dumber then my best friend, Suhana. She always held on to her deadpan face like a priceless possession. She wasn’t affected when sitting for her exams, not when she scored the highest, not when her dad bought her the loveliest designer wrap, not when she was first permitted to hang out with us and not when guys showed interest in her. Being her best friend when I failed to change her, I had no hopes of anyone else doing that. But I was more than happy to see the situation change when she met my cousin, Raghav. I could clearly notice the fun in her when they were together, her sadness when he was away and the joy that he had lighted in her heart. I then realized she wasn’t devoid of emotions, just waiting for them to be unlocked by the right person.  

#123 …a woman sings while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his muddy boots.

I was staying at my Sis’s place. It was raining outside. We decided to go out for dinner. Jiju was due to return from his office. We quickly finished the household chorus and got ready for the dinner. When jiju came, he was all drenched. Without so much as opening his boots at the door, he walked all across to his bedroom dirtying the floor we had just cleaned.  I was scornful but my sis was not. She simply got the mop and started cleaning it while Jiju got ready. And to top it she sang while she mopped as if there couldn’t be a better job. 

#122 …when it unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before.

I was always satisfied with my life. Until he came. I never knew I had heart. Until he took it away. It was a rainy night. I had got delayed at office and was on way home when I saw him coming from front. Thanks to the umbrella, I could only see the appearance of a man and nothing clearly. The wind was trying to take the umbrella from me. With one hand, I tried to keep it with me and with the other I was holding on to my tote and the file which was too big for my tote to hold in. Every car that passed splashed water, every human that crossed seemed to hit me with his umbrella. I realized it was a bad decision to wear heel on a rainy day. As I placed my next step, it gave away. I lost balance and the umbrella. Had he not hold me, I would have had a bad sprain that evening. He not only held on to me, but also held open to the door/window I had never known existed.      

#121 …when there is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

“Didn’t it hurt when Rohan didn’t invite you to his party?” she asked.

“Not at all. I have my eyes hooked somewhere else.”

“What do you mean?” she looked confused.

“I have no desire to be everybody’s preference. But there is this someone special who lit this irresistible desire in me to be irresistibly desired by him.”

“Hmm. You are on the path to be hit by the cupid. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” She advised.

#120 …when your bond doesn’t die.

“It’s been 8 years since we last met.”

“Is it? I thought it was just yesterday. You never went out of mind.”

“Neither did you.”

I was glad he had hold on to the bond as strongly I had.

#119 …when you can never get/give enough of it.

“Don’t you ever get tired of it?”

“Tired of what?” I asked Smriti.

Smriti was my first cousin and next door neighbor. She was the only one yet aware of my special friendship with Raj.

“Of buying him gifts, making him cards, thinking of him, talking to him, planning your outings, sharing your memories… I am tired of speaking of it!”

“Never. Not of getting his hugs, seeing him smile, asking him for suggestions, waiting for him, accepting gifts, going out and the like.”

“This love’s going to spoil our generation!” she said irritated.

#118 …when Mommy gives Daddy the best baked pie.

It was Christmas eve. We generally dine together this night, but my dad called to say he would be late and therefore not to wait. We sat down to eat. As soon as we finished our prayers, we extended our hands to choose the pie first. Pies are a hit at our home. Mom’s hand reached first. There were 4, of different flavors, for the 10 of us. She chose one and kept it aside. It was the best baked pie.

#117 …when you don’t care what other people think about the two of you.

When Amitabh told us about his growing feelings for Jaya, we couldn’t help mocking the pair they would make if she accepts his proposal. Amitabh was just a little short to 6.3 feet and Jaya barely 5. We suggested he stop thinking about her and look for better babes, a little taller. He was not to be disdained. We decided to lurk behind when he was to make his proposal, in case he needed shoulders to lean on after the rejection. But it was not to be so. After a little hesitation, she accepted it. Later in life when we asked Jaya about what made her readily accept the proposal, she smiled and answered, “What I liked most was that he was not concerned about what people would think about us. He prioritized his feelings. This became an asset of our married life.”  

#116 … when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

After college, Richa took me to her place to finish our EV project. We had hardly reached the door when her puppy came running to her, jumping with joy the way I did when my Dad permitted me to go on my first school trip. He (I later found out it was a male Spitzs, 1 year old) had long, thick, white fur and pointed ears and muzzles. The tail curved over his back. He licked Richa’s face. I couldn’t help sneering and stepped back for the inherent fear in humans for dogs. Richa introduced me to him and made us shake hands. He sniffed me all over before allowing me to enter their house. Once back home at night, as I rang the bell, I imagined a similar puppy leaping from inside. Alas! None did.   

#115 …when you tell a guy you like his shirt and he starts wearing it everyday.

“God! I’ll have to wear this shirt again today.” My cousin called out.

“Why what’s the problem with this shirt. Seems good.” I said.

“Arre I just wore it day before yesterday and last week too.”

“So?” As I asked I remembered an incident from college. We were in the sophomore year. Like every collegian, most of our times were spent in the canteen or on the lawns loitering. There was this guy, Goutam who used to wear new shirts everyday. Sometimes I wondered if his father owned a garments’ factory. Then suddenly one day I noticed he had been wearing the same shirt every alternate day. Though it did look good on him, but so did many others. When I aired my view, I was stared at by my group. Obviously I had missed out on something. Goutam got up and moved out. Anu followed.

“Where are you guys going?” I called to them.

“Will be back soon,” Goutam said and went off. That was when the mystery was revealed. Anu had complimented Goutam when he wore that shirt first time last week. Since then he has been repeating it. Anu was generally the shy-type. Goutam had been flirting with her for some time, without success. Probably that little compliment from her meant a lot to him.   

#114 …when you miss him even before you part.

As we sat through the movie, I knew nothing was going to be the same from tomorrow.

“The plot was nice. But they could have done better with the direction.” Sud said, as the screen displayed – The End.

I didn’t reply. I didn’t know. I had hardly watched the movie. I was lost in thoughts, thoughts which had no future, thoughts which were not to see the light of the day. I got up and we together started moving towards the exit.

“So, will you miss me from tomorrow?” he asked.

‘Miss you from tomorrow? I am already missing you.’ I thought, but didn’t say. There was no point telling him that. I simply nodded.

“Don’t forget me while I am away. Don’t forget to invite me on your wedding.”

Sudd and his family were shifting to London due to his dad’s posting there. He had been very excited ever since he found out. I knew he would not keep in touch, I knew he had lots to look forward to, I knew life would move on, and I knew my feelings would find its suitable place in the dark alleys of my memory. Only if I had made my feelings evident the very first day, Only if I had the guts to tell him today, Only if.. 

I must have rehearsed my lines, a thousand times

Until i had them memorized!

But when I get up the nerve to tell you,

the words just never seem to come out right!

#113 …when laying in his arms makes you forget about the world and all the pain.

I had just misconceived. No words of kindly advice or motherly hugs could lessen the pain that I was going through. When I refused to be handled by anyone, he came in. He had remained aloof all this time, perhaps himself going through the same agony. He pulled me beside him and wrapped me in his arms. And then all of a sudden, I was at rest. I felt nothing but calm and peace. He was to be the father of the child. But before that he was, and is, the love of my life and with him beside me, I accepted to tread the path God had laid out for me, happily.

#112 …when you send her flowers and ‘miss u’ notes to work and set up romantic evenings, candlelit dinners at home.

“Any special occasion today?” An intern in our office asked on seeing a bouquet of red roses with a 'miss you' card being sent to me by my husband at office.

“Nopes.” I smiled.

“Recently married?”

“Over 5 years now,” I said, a little embarrassed.

“What? Seriously?”

“Hmm.”

“My boyfriend needs to learn something from your husband. It isn’t even 2 yrs since our 1^st meet and he behaves like he is keeping up with me for ages.” And with that she went off to call her boyfriend. I quickly sent an ‘I love you’ message’ to my hubby before resuming my work at the desk.

#111 …when Mom makes coffee for Dad and takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.

I was in the reading room with Dad. 

He was reading out to me. 

Seeing no one else around, he send me to check on Mom 

for she was supposed to bring him coffee some 10 minutes back. 

On entering the kitchen I saw her pouring the coffee in mug. 

She then took a spoonful and tasted before carrying it to dad. 

I asked Mom on way, why she did that. 

She smiled and said, 

“I wouldn’t like it if your dad didn’t enjoy his coffee.”

#110 …when you give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.

When Soham insisted, I gave in to his request to watch a movie not highly rated. Since the beginning I got the hint that I wasn’t going to like it, so I just kept on looking here and there. Mohit and Ruchita were sitting beside me. They were Soham’s friends and had just been introduced to me. I didn’t know I was going to watch a movie beside me as well. In the interval, they bought four packets of French fries for it was each one’s favourite. I saw Ruchita was a slow eater. Mohit and Soham had theirs finished within 5 mins. After a lot of hesitations on Mohit’s face I saw him cautiously reaching for Ruchita’s packets. Ruchita, at first moved hers away. But after a look at his face, she decided to give in. Now Ruchita had started munching faster probably for the fear of it being eaten away by Mohit. I was too engrossed to see Soham reaching for my packet. When I did realize, I didn’t let him share. Why should I when he didn’t? But then I wondered why Ruchita gave in to Mohit. After the movie Soham answered my unasked question when he said it has been 6 months that they have been going around.  

#109 …when a 4 yr old gal puts on perfume and a 5 yr old boy puts on shaving cologne when they go out, and smell each other.

We were all getting ready for a marriage function. Somebody knocked on my door. My 5 yr old niece, Vanshika slipped in as soon as I opened the door. She went straight to my dressing table, chose one perfume and put it on. I was awestruck. When I tried explaining her, that she was too small to be using that, she said if Mehul could wear his dad’s shaving cologne to smell good, why can’t she. Mehul was my distant cousin’s son. She added it felt nice to smell each other when they met. I couldn’t help keeping a tab on her all through the party. Obviously she hadn’t been left alone even for a second after they met.  

#108 ...when forever is not long enough.

The ticking of a clock, the beating of my heart

Pounding like a drum in the dark.

If I could conquer time, I’ll love you day and night

And make this moment last, baby all my life

I watch you as you sleep, I’m jealous of the night

I’d steal you from your dreams, just to buy more time,

So much in my heart, so much in my soul

A lifetime aint enough to ever let you know

Cause the time is passing by, and the more it slips away

When I look into your eyes, I know…baby

It isn’t long enough to give you my love

Forever aint enough to give it all to you,

There isn’t time enough to see it all through,

Forever aint enough to give my love to you.

#107 …when there is triumph of imagination over intelligence.

By the time we finished preparing for tomorrow’s meeting with the financers in our office, it was quite late. Yash offered to drop me home. On the way he picked his girlfriend to take her out for dinner. I found her little strange. Every few minutes, she would point at something outside the window and Yash would say something that made no sense to me. It continued till they dropped me home. Though I had kept quiet not to cross the border of decency with her, I couldn’t help asking Yash, next day, about it. He explained that it was his girlfriend’s idea that they look at this world with their imaginative eyes. It meant that they would imagine the normal things to be something else, anything. It did sound weird to me. As I moved towards the Board room, I thought only love could do that.