No matter how much I want to kick you out
of my thoughts but you seem to be that spring toy in an enclosed box that jumps
up at every opportunity… I can see you, feel you and it is just killing me
inside to ultimately realize every time that you can never be mine. I don’t
know whether to feel lucky for having the chance to meet you or to feel disgusted
at myself for letting you go that easily. I had asked you to stay away from me,
to not to talk to me but how could I ask your thoughts to stop flashing in my
mind. I don’t know how to erase your memories from popping up every now and
then. I have no idea how I will go on without the assurance of your back up.
Every next second I would find my resolution wavering. I want to run into your
arms, to talk to you incessantly, to listen to you halfheartedly… I really
really miss you…
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